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No Room For The Groom
Credits:
Adapted from the Universal-International Production ~ Produced by Ted Richmond ~ Directed by Douglas Sirk ~ Screenplay by Joseph Hoffman ~ Based on the Story "My Ture Love" by Darwin L. Teilhet ~ Fictionalized by Marjorie Bailey
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Cast:
Alvah Morrell......Tony Curtis
Lee Kingshead......Piper Laurie
Herman Strouple....Don DeFore
Mama..........Spring Byington
Will Stubbins.......Jack Kelly
Donavan..............Lee Aaker
Elsa................Lillian Bronson
Cousin Betty...........Lynn Hunter
Cousin Ben............Fess Parker
Cousin Luke.........Frank Sully
Cousin Emmy..........Helen Noyes
Cousin Julia..........Elsie Baker
Cousin Henry...........Fred J. Miller
Cousin Mike............James Parnell
Cousin Pete............Lee Turnbull
Cousin Dorothy.....Janet Clark
Cousin Susie.............Delores Mann
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The Story:Lee had been married less than an hour when she discovered the intolerable truth, that the honeymoon was over!
It was a hard thing to accept. This was the moment Lee had looked forward to ever since the day she'd first seen Alvah Morrell. Mama, of course, had nevr thought much of him, preferring Herman Strouple, who was president of the cement plant where Lee was employed. But, since they happened to be boarding at the Morrell house there in Suttersville, Mrs. Kingshead hadn't been able to keep Lee and Alvah apart. Even after Alvah was drafted, he'd kept in touch by writing every day. Then, this last time he'd come home on furlough, they'd eloped.
At first, it had been as Lee had always dreamed it, just the two of them alone in the hotel room. Alvah had ordered champagne. "Delicilo," he'd told the bellhop. "Best champagne in California; uses grapes from my vineyard."
But now the dream was shattered. Lee gazed at her husband, and suspicion gave way to wide-eyed horrow as she read the awful truth in his flaming face.
Alvah had the chicken pox!
This was promplty confirmed by the hotel doctor, who gave orders to have him moved to an emergency hospital. "The doctors will communicate with your officers," he told Alvah, cheeringly. "They'll arrange to ship you back to camp as soon as possible."
And that was the last Lee saw of Alvah for many months. By the time he was able to call her, it was to report that his division was being shipped out.
"Don't worry about the house or the vineyard," Lee told him, tearfully. "Mother and I will take care of it."
Mother! In view of the turn things had taken, Lee though, perhaps it was better not to tell her right now that she and Avah were married.
Mama puffed contentedly on a cigarette as she thumbed through the latest issue of Love Confessions. It was so much more comfortable since she'd moved into Alvah's room~how fortunate thet he'd been sent overseas. And, she mused, now that Lee had been made private secretary to Herman Strouple, maybe she'd begin to show more sense about him.
Hearing a sound outside, Mama quickly extinguished the cigarette and, when Lee cae in, she was bent over her knittingas though she had no other interest in life.
Lee was troubled. "How could you take in more relatives?" Since Alvah had left and Mama had assumed the running of the house, the number of relatives boarding with them had grown to fifteen not counting that nine-year-old monster, Donavan, and Cousin Louise's twins.
Mama bristled. "If you are referring toCousin Ben! Mr. Strouple was kind enought to give him a job. Mr. Strouple is making cement for the government. My relatives are working for him, and I am giving them shelter as a duty to my country."
I only hope Alvah sees it that way." Lee lighted a cigarette.
Please, my dear," Mama protested. "You know I can't stand smoke. It's bad for my heart." Lee obligingly ditched the cigarette as Mama continued. "I can't understand you. Alvah's been gone ten months now. Think what it would mean to me and the family, if you and Mr. Stroupl were to~"
The family!" Lee snorted, "With the exception of Aunt Elsa, they're all a bunch of leeches!"
Mama received this outburst with her usual calm~which is to say she immediately had a dizzy spell.
After Lee had gotten her into bed, she went down to the kitchen. As she was bending over the stove, Alvah, who was supposed to be overseas, walked into the door.
This time it was Lee who almost fainted.
Catching her close to him, he explained, "We left so fast, I didn't get a chance to write."
Any further show of affection was halted by a clamor in the hall. Lee's kinfolk had caught wind of the fact that a meal was in the offing.
"Who are all those people?" asked Alvah.
Relatives." Lee Haltingly described her mother's unique way of helping the national effort, following this up with the disturbing news that Mama was unaware of ther marriage.
"When I got home, after we eloped," she told him, "Mama had one of her dizzy spells. She said it would kill her if I married you. I told her we were engaged, though."
Alvah didn't seem much consoled by that. "Look, I've got only one week, just one teensy-weensy-measly little week, to make up for fourteen days of the chicken pox and ten months oversears. We're not going to wait another minute."
But he'd hardly mentioned the word "marriage" to Mrs. Kingshead before she started to moan and gasp. "My poor heart. I just can't stand shocks of any sort."
"Shocks or no shocks," Alvah insisted, "it's time you learned that Lee and I ale already~"
Lee interupted. "What Alah's trying to tell you is theat we're all ready to be married."
Mama dismissed the subject. "We'll talk about that later." Then she turned to Alvah. "You'll want your room back, won't you?"
"No," he told her with some reluctance.
"Where will Alvah sleep?" asked Lee.
Mama looked thoughtful, then brightened. "In the study with Donavan." With this, whe sighed and gave herself over to full enjoyment of her dizzy spell.
Satisfied that Donovan was finally asleep on the other couch, Alvah slipped out the door and stealthily made his way upstairs to Lee's room.
"You shouldn't have come here," she whispered.
"Why shouldn't I?" His voice rose in anger. "I didn't get married to be a bachelor!"
That did it! At the sound of Mama getting into action next door, Alvah ducked through the hall to the bathroom. Lee followed close behind him and locked the door.
He sat on the edge of the tub and eyed her, as if for the first time. "That's a mighty pretty kimono. Pretty nightgown, too. Gosh, you smell beautiful."
There was a knock at the door. "Lee darling." Mama called. "Are you in there?"
Alvah was already climbing through the window. But as he reached for the limb of the tree outside, it snapped, and he went crashing to the ground.
With the help of the aroused relatives, Mama forced the bathroom door open and made her way to the window. "Alvah Morrell!" she called down. "Why were you in the bathroom with my daughter?"
"Beacuse your daughter is also my wife," he told her, with all the dignity he could muster from his prone position.
"That isn't any reason why~" Suddenly, Mama's facefroze in horrow. "Did he say his wife?"
"Yes Mama," said Lee.
There was only one way to cope with this situation. Accordingly, Mama sank to the floor in a faint.
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